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Soulmate

This morning, my faraway uncle called again. With same intention and bitterness. He even cried on the phone. I pity him, really. But sometimes I hate it when my protagonist aunt cried because of his harsh words. Yes, she have a debt in him. But it's not right to demand it in hard way. And like a bucket of ice poured on my head, I jerked awake. Out of pity, I often ask myself why my uncle must have that kind of wife. But now I can see it clearly, they are so alike. Unfortunately, it's in rude words and narrow-minded department. I rarely despite someone. But once I do, it's nearly impossible for me to change my mind about them. Who on their right mind blame other person for his own broke? After they have agreement to join a business.

It's seem that I'm on my aunt's side in this case. Why wouldn't I? She has every quality for me to fight for. She's not perfect. Far from it. But she is my role model in patient and faithful wife. With that kind of husband, she remains still. Never want to quit or rebels. Instead she help him with everything she can do.

And tonight, in a dim light of torch, my heart beat fast. I realized how weak I am. How I can't control my own feelings without pleading on Allah's help. And I've found other reason why we need partner. Human just like an oxidant. They are very unstable. And they need partner to complete themselves, so they won't caused damage to other, or destroy themselves.

I remember Thursday noon, when I can't help but feel irritated with nickname 'single' from the ex-leader. I know that I'm single but please, no need to rub it on my face every single time we meet. "So you can realize yourself." She tried to sound reasonable. Hey, it's just like rub salt on my wound. Sorry for sound very emotional. But I think she won't dare to do that in front of Bunda Novi. Instead of mocking us, why not pray for us? It's every girl dream to meet their prince charming who will sweep their feet but not every of us have a same fate to meet him soon. And it's necessary to always feel grateful and open-minded for everything Allah has planned for us. It's absolutely the best, although sometimes it took times to understand about it.

Whatever, I wish Allah always blessings her and her family. I'm not holding grudges. It's really unimportant. Like everyday, I just need to breathe it out. So the voices inside my head can reduce into minimal. Because writing help me think more clearer. And made me saw something from few side.

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