For the twentieth times (of course I didn't really counted it), he came again. And still with same symptoms. Mr. Gloomy, male, 24 years old, came to RSM Mandala because of cephalgia, feel febrile, and some flu and cough right here and there. He suffers from prolonged insomnia too.
So why I called him Mr. Gloomy? He has this aura, when he came the air suddenly feel heavy, I'll feel there is something stuck in my throat, it's feel like happiness are sucked into the earth. Okay, I exaggerated. And no, I'm not talking about Dementor either. It's just, I don't know. He has this gloomy face, and never in our encounters I saw him smile. He always frown, and his shoulder will hung loosely, like a soldier that just defeated in a great war. There's minimal eye contact too, his eyes remain dull, and I can't figured out any emotions that reflects there. Not that I'll mind that part. But as all of this appearance keep repeating, I start feel irritated. I understand that most of patients come to RSM to seek help for their illness. But do everybody whose have illness forbidden to smile and cheerful? It's the most cheap medicine you know.
But maybe, it's just my hunch. After all I don't have a right to jugde anyone. But it made me thinking if I were in his shoes. Do people will irritate and call me Miss Gloomy? Maybe not as irritated as I was, but I'm sure they will be affected too. Believe it or not, an emotion that plastered in our face can be contagious. And sometimes it tell us much more than words. Because expression sometimes like a mirror for what we feel.
Okay, forget about Mr. Gloomy and whatever problem he has. May Allah grant him happiness, so maybe one day I can see his smile. I think it will be a sweet smile. It was rare after all.
Back to if I am Miss Gloomy, and maybe I really was, or will. I think I'll make people uncomfortable with my face. Everything about negative feeling, will result as a negative aura. It's tiring, not only for us who feel it, but also for people around us. Imagine they're in a middle of celebration, and we come with that gloomy face. It will be a spoiler. And it's absolutely unfair.
'If you can't make people happy, at least don't make them sad.' It's a burden to worry about someone who constantly unhappy, especially if they don't want to share.
Everybody deserves a good day. So try to share something good, even it just a sincere smile. You never know the power of that smile, it could lighten a bad mood in a second. Even a broken heart. So never doubt it. Smile, if you can't do it on your own, just pretend. And keep pretending until you forget why you can't smile in a first place.
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