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38,6

Actually, it's 38,6 Celsius, a measurement of my body temperature yesterday noon. Yes, I was febrile. After an acute episode of rhinitis at the morning, an exhausted morning in Burn Unit, and the cold temperature in there, my body gave up. It was close to hypotermia. I think I'll be better if I take a nap with socks on and light blanket. But no, the temperature did in increased but it didn't stop on a normal track. In increased, increased, and increased till Me Dijah need to give me warm compress again and again. She looks so worry and I feel really sorry for her. I didn't mean to get sick, but here I am. Shaking and lightheaded. With lost of appetite, runny nose, and pale face. Even Bli Dewa can tell because my voice was quivering during phone call. My point is yes, my lovely aunt is right, I definitely sick. Even it took me long enough to admit it. She even fuming when I said I'll go on duty in Mandala. Said I need rest because I absolutely exhausted and not to force myself to work.

I've been decided that I won't go on duty in Burn Unit this night. I'm not risk my health. It's easy to go back there once I've feel better. If I force myself to go there, I can't bear to sick more than three days. I know I can't predict the future, but I know I can push my limit if I need to.

38,6. Every brain has it own thought about this number. But usually as a health practitioners, nurse, doctor, midwife, we will commonly think that it was febrile, and it's not good for the body. The word 'not good' even can switch to 'cautious' in different situations. If I go to doctor and say I have sore throat with that number of temperature, it will considers as not good. But if the patient in ICU with ventilator have same temperature, it will immediately considers as cautions.

See, every people, every situations has it own priority. And with that thought I realized something. That the number one priority of one people in other hand can consider as the last. After all, not all of us stand on the same ground. And everything we see depends on where we stand.

And this afternoon, I forgive them. Some people that have unfair behavior toward me. Or again, maybe it's just happen in my mind. Whatever, I've changed my mind. I won't glare or roll my eyes again. Or feel like leftover again. Or care too much with their impression. I'm done and it was enough to feel irritated all the time. I know I must do it from long time ago. But again, the reasons didn't feel right yet. Thanks to Allah that give me the thought today. Alhamdulillah finally I can move that burden from my shoulder.

Because everybody has their own reason to do and not doing something, and according to them, it's the best thing to do. And you'll only wasting time to argue about it.

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