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Debate

Tonight, I did something I never do for a long time. And surprisingly it feels good. So good till the point I proud of myself. Not because 'I won' in that debate, but because I stood for what I believe in.

Instead of let things slide, like I always do lately (in order to avoid further problems), I stared him right in his eyes, and said my part. What I want to say. And now when I replay the image in my head, I feel more peaceful. Because when I face him, I smiled. Yes, I am. The emotional Fitria was smile during a debate.

When I trace further to the past, I always want to win, especially in debate. I won't stop till they admit they're wrong, or admitted I was right. Either way, I won. It made me believe that I'm smart and unconsciously, allows arrogance seeping in my heart. Astagfirullah.

And tonight, one thing for sure. I didn't intend to debate, moreover to win. I just want to knock some sense to a senior nurse that think he can teach us one thing in one day and miraculously we will remember it forever. Helloooo, even the Western said it practices makes perfect. Practices  in plural, mean you do it over and over again. Not to mention that Qur'an have thousands sentences that keep repeating all over place, so we always remember it.

But I can only try. Understanding doesn't always come handy. Heaven, I barely can't keep myself on a track so who I am to change people's mind? Even when all my friends stated their disagreement with him, I just smile.

Enough for me to know that I have change. For better insya Allah. Maybe I still that reckless and ruthless girl, but I have changed inside. Thanks to someone's statement that made me realized my mistake, and more thankful to her who relayed the news to me.

27 Ramadhan 1436 H.


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