Jingga Langit Senja

"Hati-hati di jalan Nduk.."

I don't know why this small sentence that came from Pak Samin make my lips automatically form a little smile. Smile that reached my eyes, and warm my heart. It just made my day in a weird way. Even I am nobody, there is always somebody that will notice me, and care for me.

I feel unusually happy this evening, and if start going hyper, I begin to analyze that there is something, and usually something bad will come. Why I must need a reason to be happy? Am I not worthy enough? Ugh, screw my overloads brain!

I ask Nurul, 'How was your life?'. And I just remembered I ask the same question to you-know-who. Not something I feel proud of, especially when I remember stupid assumptions I made after read the answers. Oh forget it, I'm rambling again. But hey, that question somehow backfired to me. Make me questioning myself about my life.

So, how was life Fitria?

I'll be liar if I say it's great. Its not good, but I know I can do worse, and thank God I didn't. In my hibernation state, I stop looking mightily at people's successes and my failures. I let myself embrace my weaknesses and flaws. I stop fighting and accusing myself for everything I can't reach and can't do, yet.

Yeah, I'm try to hopeful. There is always hope to my clumsiness, my unhappy moment, and my dreams. That everything need process, and process needs time. And on other hand, time need patience. It's a lesson I learn in a hard way.

I'm not perfect, and far for it. And I don't want to pursue perfection anymore. Because it doesn't matter. What the most counting is, how I try to be a better person, in everything, day by day.

And the small step to do that is easy, yet very forgettable.

It's something called grateful.

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal..

*Jingga langit senja begitu indah sore ini, dan aku begitu beruntung bisa menyaksikannya. Everything has it's beauty, but not every eyes can see it. I hope I always can see beauty inside everything. Aamiin.